A Sad Poem

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Stupidity that Men Practice

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No Quiver, No WAIVER, No Stagger by Aje Mofifunoluwa

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Our Journey

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Comfort (To Hold) Featuring Seun Odukoya

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Of Church Boys and Girltations: Rants

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Of Church Boys and Girltations: Trends

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Of Church Boys and Girltations: Little

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Of Church Boys and Girltations

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Of Church Boys and Girltations: Identity

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Of Church Boys and Girltations: Another Perspective

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Of Church Boys and Girltations: Memoirs of the Tempted

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A Never Ending Tale of Woe

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InfotainmentNaija: First Impresssions

InfotainmentNaija: First Impresssions: Ojuola Tolulope Daniel © They say first impressions lasts forever, so I will try and create an impression in my first entry here. Good...

Of Church Boys and Girltation: Advice

You wonder why I don't reply your calls? Your texts, the pings and emails, Its because I just cannot deal with your drama, I mean, its just too much, For a guy, Scarlet O Hara will hail thee Wait a second Reduce your drama Act more like a guy Maybe then, just maybe then Life will treat you better And please I'm not where I need to be, yet So stop advertising mediocrity It stings that your personality reeks of it And I know my words will hurt That is exactly my aim I'm supposed to be an old friend Try packaging yourself better And watch how tongues will wag And doors will open You always have to be open minded Personal brands is what sells the individual in this age Nobody will tell you this, But I will, got nothing to loose anyway, I just need to get you off my back You and your silly assumptions Pause I almost forgot, Individuality is what differentiates you It is what helps you to learn from insults and mistakes Arguing never helps And assuming you know things, Just because you need to feel among, Never works either, They will all fall through eventually And guess who will look like a fool Definitely not me. Another one from "Of Church Boys and Girltations" Advice

Regional integration is the answer

Regional integration is the answer

LETTERS TO THE SUN (2009)

PRELUDE Do you know what it means to write to the sun? It means that the words are going to burn… do you get? You never write anything to the sun… why? Because its too hot up there. That is exactly how I view you. I view you as if you were that hot flame burning up endlessly. I don’t believe you have ever seen any of my works. Well here is the opportunity that you have been waiting for…. Join this ride and zoom off with me……………………… Prologue I wrote a letter to the sun To smile down at you But he declined and replied, Guess what he said, He said you're too hot I smiled and wrote another letter And this time to the moon To watch over you as you sleep He also declined and replied, Guess what he said, He said you are too beautiful, You take the shine out of him Obviously there had to be someone Out there that I could write to Then I picked up my pen and pad And I wrote to an Angel To help me guide you Would you believe what He said? He told me that Angels DONT WATCH OVER ANGELS... You are special. Dale’s views

Far too personal have i taken my relationship with Esther, she didn’t see things the way i saw them, she thought that we could just be friends and it would end there, things never seem that simple for me. For starters i am a natural when it comes to taking things serious, oh! I haven’t introduced myself to you reader, you? Did i hear you right? Yes you, my name is Dale, i like to refer to myself as a prolific writer and inventor, ok yeah back to my story, I fell in love. At first it was unbelievable, because guys like me just don’t fall in love unless it was for a reason. So the questions are what kind of person am i? and why did i fall in love? My questions seem numerous but trust me they all have answers. I am an all in one kind of guy, gentle outgoing but more importantly i am not the girl chasing kind of guy, so i just make up stories about myself been in love with some imaginary girlfriend and i decided that been with her was good enough for me. Now why did i fall in love, i got myself mixed up in some belief that i was old enough to handle a real relationship, so i stuck my neck out like a chicken ready to be slaughtered for the fastest opportunity to get involved as i could. It wasn’t that fast, because i had to search out that person that was going to make my dearest fantasies come true. Indeed my fantasies did come true, i met Esther, my oh! My, wasn’t she beautiful? She was exactly what i dreamt about all this while, so you’ll understand why i love her so. So enough of talking, check out some of my letters to her, beware some of this letters were written due to the fact that i was feeling really insecured during the time that i was away.

Esther’s views

I don’t believe love is necessary to fill spaces in life, infact i believe people looking for love must first look inwards before they can start the journey of searching it out else where. Hey you, guess you already know my name uh? Well i don’t know where to start, is it where i asked Dale to stop been unnecessarily tied with me or what? Being a good Christian i don’t believe i am supposed to stay in a relationship that i know has no future, how do i know this? Dale can never be responsible enough for me, he has no idea what it means to love, his idea of love is rather bookie, but he’ll never agree with that. Then again, i could be wrong because most of the time i am wrong about him, i have never really made out time to know him, i know exactly how he feels about me, but i am afraid that if he knows how i feel about him, it will destroy him. Dale is not exactly the dashingly handsome kind of guy that will sweep a girl off her feet, neither is he prince Charming, i cannot afford to date a guy that i wont be proud of. But can i tell him that without hurting his feelings? I don’t think so. Dale is just not my kind of guy, to me i don’t believe in being with him for any reason, not because he has done any thing wrong but for no good reason, no good reason at all.

The beginning of the beginnings. 10:30pm 26-09-09

Hey you, How are you? Guess you’re fine... well I hope you’re. How have you been? Every now and every then, I think about you and I wonder if you do the same. Don’t blame me if I’m being a little bit sarcastic it’s just what happens or probably what I often wonder. Do you know the funniest part of it is the fact that there will always be someone, some guy out there, which might be having this same feeling towards you like I’m having? Maybe what I feel is stronger, just maybe... but like someone once told me, so far that person you like or love has found happiness in someone else, learn to share in that happiness, its the best option you have, any other option you take might be wrong. Esther, believe it or not I love You but its time for me to go, so I can grow because I know that I can never get over you. Esther, I have been trying but you have not helped me at all... in actual fact all you’ve helped me to do is falling in love with you, over and over and again. Let me be totally honest with you, You are the girl of my dreams, answer to my prayer, you are an angel, but heavens knows that you’ll always be a dream waiting to come true, my dream, I wish I could be the guy for you, I wish I could be the guy of your dreams too, but I obviously aren’t. Some days ago, I shared my plight with someone and that person categorically told me to let go. Somehow it’s hard but I don’t know what to do. I’m moving to the next category in my life, and whatever decision I take now is definitely going to affect the rest of my life. Writing this reminds me of New Years Day. Remember the words you said to me? I won’t tell you because I know you have a fantastic memory, but those words of yours shaped this year for me. I actually thought things won’t be like this by now, but who am I kidding? You know something funny? Something was invoked two or three days ago in me... what do you think that thing is? It was you, and the extent of my confusion remains high, where we are concerned. Esther, who are you to me? Definitely not my girlfriend and obviously not my best friend... I MISS YOU.

Dale…

It is a pity that you feel this way about me, well i don’t believe I have an answer to any of the questions that you asked because i have not thought about it that way before. I hope you understand that being just friends with you means a lot to me than anything else might mean, i don’t want us to get involved in anything that would complicate things. Because things as of now are complicated enough with us right now.

Esther… Fool for love? 11:00pm 27-09-09

Hey Esther, I’m very sorry about the way that I ended the last letter, maybe I was too raw with the way I painted those words to you [or maybe I wasn’t raw enough] or maybe I shouldn’t have told you what was on my mind. Any which way, I’m sorry. How are you? I’ve honestly missed you, even now that you are reading this letter, I wish I could see your face, see the eagerness in your eyes from the outside, feel your heartbeat as it races and perceive that coolness and beauty that only you can give. I wish I could read your thoughts without seeing you and determine whether you feel pity or love for me or is it anger or hatred [I know this can never happen]? Or is that you are totally unaffected, showing that I‘m a fool for falling in love with you...? Well if I’m a fool then may it be because of you. Would you believe me? If I told you that I will always be in love with you? If you don’t, it means that you don’t know what I love about you... you don’t know that I love your silence and your noise at the same time, I love the way you look at me and listen to me. You don’t know that I love your dedication to God, and you have no idea how much I love your smile, your dress sense, your naivety, heavens!!! I love virtually everything about you. But that’s not where it ends, every individual crave attention at one point in their lives, and you gave your time and sometimes your mind to people. And irrespective of what is on your mind, you always have a smile for everyone... thanks for letting me to share in your beauty.

Dale…

Honestly, your last letter hurts, why does it hurt? Is a question that i believe you know the answer to. You are a master in the art of using words and i admire you for that. In fact i must admit that i was very flattered even though i knew that you didn’t intend it to flatter me, i wish i could reply you with words so beautiful yet so easy to read. But somehow within me my heart sends me a message to you that you should strive to be the guy in your letter often then maybe you could have that which you mostly desire. Then, i must tell you that i wasn’t a bit disturbed about your last letter before this one, it only reminds me of the fact that i can be a better person with you always there to put me right along the path of truth. Thank you very much Dale.

Esther… Entangled 5:15am 25-09-09

Hey pretty girl, Hmmn, I missed you, cant believe it but its the truth, it’s been almost a week since you promised to call and you didn’t. I have learnt never to get angry or even choked up because of this, but the truth is that the last time I called you, you called me someone else’s name and hung up. The last time I called, you said you weren’t proud of the fact that you haven’t called me and thus...... I have been awaiting your call ever since. I’m worried about you, but I’m afraid that you won’t want to pick up my call if I made the call. It scares me to see you like this even now that I understand that you might not be able to date a guy like me. I wish I could make you understand that I’m not asking you or any other girl for that matter to be ashamed of been seen with me or anything for that matter, I would never do that. The truth is that you need to be free. And by God you don’t need to be proud of me. I don’t need you to be proud of me anymore, because I’m proud of myself and I’m proud of you and I understand you. I don’t want you to be entangled in my world anymore; I have entangled you in my web long in enough...

Dale…

I am sorry that i have not been able to give you a call, the thing is that i have been so busy that i have lost the track of time, some times i even feel as if i had called only to realise that i only thought of it without really carrying it out. Your last words really baffle me, but i really don’t have anything to add, i believe that you always think through all your decisions before you make them.

Esther… Irony of life 12:32am 30-09-09

Hi, Guess it’s late and I don’t know why I feel like talking to you. You know something cool? The irony of life is that when we think we lost something, it’s actually because we lost the battle of being challenged. One of the greatest ingredients of winning in any situation is challenge. Once you are challenged, it’s what facilitates that which you need to make a breakthrough. Sorry to bore you with this..., I’ve had a lot of things on my mind lately and I haven’t been fair with my self. Maybe I should be more realistic with you. I need you!!! Somehow that didn’t come out right. But it’s the truth, I need you. I need you to be my friend, I need you to stand by me when the going gets tough, and believe me, and the going is definitely going to get tough. Last night I heard the words that pretty sum it all up for me. You’ll always be my best friend because I believe in you. I believe in whatever decision you take. The irony of this lies in a statement made by Bethany Joy, when she said that ‘only unhappy people tries to kill the happiness that shadows happy people ‘. So what I’m trying to say is that, so far the guy you might have chosen over me makes you happy, who cares about what I think, who cares about how I feel! As long as you are happy, then I am too because I believe in you. I believe there is no way that you could be wrong. And even if you were wrong, you must always remember that I got your back, it might be hard for me to do, hard for you to believe but it’s the truth...

Dale…

You are such a dork when you feel like it, you know that? And the truth is that I need you too, maybe more than you need me, but i really don’t know how to tell you, i don’t want you to take it the wrong way, i need a person like you to be my friend. And thank you for believing in me, it means a lot. I hope i don’t disappoint you, because i am not as wonderful as you have made me out to be. Some how, the things that scare me about you are exactly what you’re now doing. Thank you Dale.

Esther… Saying goodbye 09:47am 01-10-09

Hey you, The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it over and over and again. It seems like the hardest thing in the world but its not, it’s just an opportunity to face the world from anew perspective, and hold on to the best memories of those that you have to let go. Love is huge, it’s beautiful, it’s a wonder and it makes you feel wanted, like you just won a battle against the whole world. It always was on your mind to be a winner; it just helps when you have someone to share it with. I always thought nothing could be harder than letting go but really it’s beautiful, it aint hard at all. I guess I’m just starting to see life from your perspective now, I’m seeing life through your eyes and it wells up oceans of tears in mine. I want to share something with you that is powerful, its called loving, but not like it sounds its much more, its the power to feel secured, knowing that even in bad times and stormy weather, someone’s got your back. If your offer still stands, I guess I’ll just do my crying in the rain, even if my heartache remains...

Dale…

Sometimes i just tell myself Dale has to be the most complicated human being ever, but somehow he is always right, even though you have managed to confuse me in ways that i cannot even imagine, I’ll still try to process what you have just written in a simple and layman term. I don’t understand the perspective that you are claiming to be seeing life through but whatever perspective that is, i don’t think, its mine.

Esther… Love is not an end 03:10pm 01-10-09

Hey pretty girl, Its afternoon here and its pretty hot, the boredom and the loneliness that grips my heart from time to time sometimes sends me into that beautiful world where everything and every individual is created and crafted by me, some people call it an illusion while some call it fantasy. Call it what you might, but I’d rather it be called imagination. That is where I discovered that love is only the beginning of something wonderful, something dynamic, something special, something great and something or anything that would stand the test of time. Love is not an end [a trophy won, after a long and stressful competition], its not even a means to an end [like we economists say], it is the beginning of something powerful, that would wax stronger even during raging storms and tempest seas. Seeing you happy makes me happy and knowing you’re okay wells up my heart with thoughts innumerable to mention. If this aint love, then I don’t know what love is? Most of the time I lie to my self, but the truth is that I cant keep doing it, I just had to let go, because I obviously might not be able to do the job of making you happy, but someone.... out there will and........ those words don’t even sound right for me to say or write, I guess all I want is for you to be alright...

Dale…

Your last couple of letters just started making sense to me recently and i figured that maybe you weren’t as confusing as i made you out to be at first. But allow me to confuse you a little too. You kind of led me to start believing that something stronger than what we currently share may exist between us, but i guess you have a better idea. Whatever your decision is, it is alright by me, but i do not enjoy the fact that you are always showing how vulnerable you are, whenever you write. By your definition of love, i really wish you’d read no meaning into it when i say i love you.

Esther… Always in my heart 01:17am 11-10-09

Hey you, How are you? It’s pretty late over here, who am I kidding? Its the middle of the night, I feel terribly heavy and I also feel extremely fatigued, the weather is at its best behaviour, it just rained, and I miss you, again and again and again... I wont explain that because you might not understand, in some years from now, you’d look back at this letters and say to yourself its was an honour to have been a friend that Dale loves so much that he could have shared his thoughts with you and also keep it as a treasure, because that’s what this is. A lot of times I question the reason for our existence, but the activities of recent days has shown me more than ever how beautiful it is to find someone that would treasure what you have painlessly thought of. You know something funny? All I want is that you should never forget me, that is the reason for this, I want to stay in your memory for a long time, even when you wont see me again, I want to know that this letters meant something to you, I want to hear that through this letter, we had a bonding so powerful that no one could break it, I want this letters to give you answers to questions that you’ve ever had about me, I want this letters to remind you of me and the beautiful moments that you were so kind to share with me, because this letters define me and they define how I truly and honestly feel about you. I love you, even though you know, but I guess my love would never be enough for a great girl like you. Esther is going to change the world, even though she hasn’t realized it yet, but it will only take herself to stop her; nothing else can exact the same influence as her... Esther I have not given up on you, because I know that you always know the right thing to do, but in any case if you ever need a brother, a shoulder to cry on (because its alright to cry sometime), a friend to talk to, someone to lean on when you are in need of something, just remember that I’m only a phone call away, and I’m always here. Please don’t leave your life in isolation because you are scared of what people might say or what they’ll think, live your life for yourself and enjoy it. I have to go and sleep now... I will always keep you in a place where no hand can touch you in me.

Dale…

How i wish i could return all this letters, Dale you are touching me, and you are not even aware of the effects of your words in me. I don’t mind seeing you right now and throwing my arms over you just to sob at you manly shoulders, but somehow i don’t think guys like you appreciate stuffs like that.

Esther… Heart desire 02:45pm 10-10-09

Hey you, Damn, today is pretty hot like a babe in the front cover of playboy magazine, just kidding, honestly the weather is incredibly steaming, I can see your face… you are frowning uh? My letters are getting more and more boring, maybe that’s a sign that I should stop writing them, I know!!! Ok? Maybe that’s because all I have been doing is talk about me and not you, I am sorry. Do you know that the average individual enjoys talking about themselves, yeah! That’s why most conversations are boring… Do you know something? Everyone always has something to say… even those who lie to themselves that they don’t. Gorge Bernard Shaw once said “that there are two tragedies in life, one when you loose your heart desire and the other when you gain or win your heart desire” a friend of mine once said that Bernard Shaw must have been a confused man, but my friend was wrong but Shaw was right at least in certain respects. All decisions in life tend to fail us at a particular point or the other. I guess what Shaw was trying to say is that no decision in life guarantees success. But I also believe that Shaw underestimated the power of Love, because he never knew Jesus or you, he never saw how pretty you are, or what else could have prompted him to say something so low about my heart desire…

Dale…

Its beautiful to see you devour one of the greatest British writers like that, i believe you are right because Shaw never met you either, he never saw how special you are, neither did he understand what it means to love.

Esther… Dream love 7:09am 15-10-09

Hey pretty girl, This morning I awoke feeling a little bit edgy as if I’m about to make a decision that would change the world. Good morning and how was your night? Hope you really had a beautiful sleep, I know things are absolutely fantastic for you. As I said earlier, I’m a bit edgy this morning, the thing is that I had this weird dream, it was about you, and it wasn’t very good… I tried calling you yesterday but the network was so bad that I ended up not talking to you. Today I am going to say certain things that I hope I won’t regret. I know how I feel about you, but sadly I don’t know how you feel about me, it seems like I may never know and I sure hope some day that I’ll to know. The truth is that a huge part of me cares to know but there is another part of me that is scared of the answer. The totality of me can never ever stop caring about or loving you. It’s what we are made for, but sometimes life is about saying goodbyes and moving on. But always bear this on your mind Ms Esther, that I may not be the guy for you, heavens knows that I may not even be the guy that you choose to spend the rest of your life with, I may not be the most perfect individual in the world but I’m the… Esther, I’m the guy that carries your thoughts in his heart as fragile as they may be, I am the guy whose happiness deeply relies on your own happiness, I’m the guy whose words written on paper are more real than the emotions he shows outside… I guess the only way that I could have gotten you to know who I truly am is through this, this is me and I hope it wont hurt for you to reads this words aloud to yourself and realize every single truth that resides in these beautiful words… I love you and I hope you aint ashamed to hear that… I can imagine how many times You’ve heard those words and how many times you’ve seen how little it meant to those that said it to you… but take it from someone who does not play around with words, I LOVE YOU…

Dale…

You are really sweet, you know that? But i really cant be hearing this right now, especially not from you… Esther… Heartache or Heartbreak? 11:09pm 19-10-09

Hey, I must say without mincing words and without any sense of remorse that you… you have left me asking myself questions that I do not have any business searching out its answers. You’ve dealt me a blow, one that has hit me like a thud of thunder, it seems more horrendous than a jab or punch from Mike Tyson. I can’t believe you could ever say such words to me, but you did… it still seems as if I just woke up from a bad dream because that is what this is. The funny thing is that even those words can’t ever change my resolve to love you… you may have damaged my heart with that heavy blow, because that’s where you reside in me, but you cant damage my soul where I keep and feed the love that I have for you with just mere words. Pain, they say is the one thing that unites us, it is the one thing that every individual share, it is embedded upon the foundation of true love, thus it is the only thing that love is yet to conquer. But like someone once said and I quote “ even if the heartache remain, I’ll do my crying in the rain” because that is the only place that you wont see my tears, it would be shadowed by rain droplets. So my definition of pain is learning to suffer in silence, and if need be to suffer, May it be because of “you”. Remember all I want is your happiness, and I trust you enough, I would have fought for your love if I knew who I was up against, but what is a duel without two people? I trust you to make the right decision…

Dale…

I cant believe that you totally fell for that, i was just kidding , you didn’t have to take it so personal, did i tell you i had a boyfriend?… it was just a joke to see what you’d say, but you really flunked this one…

Esther… I got punked!!!! 11:39pm 20-10-09

Hey you, You are so full of …… I don’t even know what to say or what not to say, it must be basically the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me in awhile. You definitely punked me (you are smiling uh?) it’s not fair, it’s like we are playing a game and you cheated. And you say that I pressed control P (personal) what else should I have pressed? Control S? (Shock) Honestly I felt really disturbed yesterday. You must be laughing at me uh? That joke was definitely too expensive for me to bear, I mean… think about it too, will you? Most times I tell you that I have certain feelings about you and now you tell me that you are with your… I wont lie to you, I cried last night, just because I felt that someone must have induced you to practically hurt me and I know that couldn’t have been my Esther, she’ll never do anything to hurt me I used to say, but check out this new one. You are becoming a very naughty girl, and if you keep it up, you will get the naughtiness out of me too, vis-à-vis two can play that game… (You are smiling uh?) I can be worse than you… just kidding. My ink is getting dry and that can only mean one thing, the book has to come to an end. Thanks for joining me on this adventure of discovery and recovery, I never thought I’d finish this book but don’t fret, this is just the beginning of something BIG. And I know that whatever it is that we feel we share, may it stand… and definitely it will. Remember this are just not words written to trip you or amuse you, they are memories worth visiting for answers and if you don’t get those answers here, remember that I am only phone call away. I have a poem for you by Michael Murray, which I hope one day I would read with my mouth to you, looking straight into your eyes and saying each word the way it was meant to be said…. Remember tonight because it’s the beginning of always, A promise like a reward for persisting through life So long alone. A believe in each other And a possibility of love A decision to ignore and simply rise Above the pain of the past A covenant which at once binds two souls And yet severs prior ties. The celebration of the chance taken And the challenges that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one Like a team braced against The tempest of the world, And love which is God, Will always be the guiding force of our lives.

Dale… Epilogue I have asked for a lot of things from God But the one He gave me beats my imagination His own master piece, a total creation You are a real gift You give my life a lift. I aint trying to flatter you Because flattery is void And I know your loveliness Can never turn into nothiness That is why I say without mincing words That you’re God’s own total work of art Created for greater things And you’ll change the world Because I believe in you… © 2009. Ojuola Tolulope Daniel.

HER Story

'They've lied to us all, death isn't the way we'd all thought it will be' I died, dont pity me, I had a good life, I got the best of everything. My parents were always there, from elementary school through college. I had no deformity, I was cute, guys wane over me, I had two boyfriends, I slept with only one of them, the other was too religious, he wouldn't dare touch me until we were married. Well, that never happened, but I lived life to the fullest. I had the craziest adventures in life, I remember one time when I visited Nigeria with my dad, the country of his birth, I saw the religious description of hell with my two bare eyes when I got myself and two others kidnapped by some hungry militants, apparently I was worth something to them as a half breed as they referred to me as. My dad paid the ransom and I was released but the horror of having to see so many guns and charms never left me in my lifetime. I had long summer trips to exotic locations with my boyfriends and friends, wore the the best of everything, from gucci to louis vutton to ralph lauren to prada. Anything that my dad's credit card could afford, afterall he's a music producer and he's also a highly successful one too. That was how he hooked up with my mum. She's also a musician, kind of a washed up, old school rock star.So as I said earlier, dont pity me, I've had enough of the pity party at my funeral. Boy! Wasn't my funeral solemn? The scary looking priest reading something from that book that everyone calls the bible and almost fifty people crowded around my grave as though, I had called a show. I couldnt even recognise the faces of all or most of the individuals that I saw at my funeral, I wish they'd let me handle the invites, I'll bet there'll only be a handful of people here instead of fifty, even Jesus, didnt get this much crowd at his funeral.In case you're reading this, you're also probably dead or do you think you could read something written by the dead? hehehehehe!!! Well, you're quite mistaken if you thought so.I was coming back from my boyfriend's apartment on that cold and fateful night of December sixteenth, all I could think about was how happy I'd be with him, once we were married, I'd only been in one relationship before I met him and boy, that relationship was wild, he always blew me off, we'd run off to Paris on weekends, take a boat cruise to the Bahamas, have public fights and the make up sex was always great but I needed more and my new boyfriend offered me that. He'd teach me in the way of God and also take me out to dinners and seminars where I learnt a whole lot about men like him. I didnt exactly enjoy the fact that he never touches me because the truth is that though I'd only been in one relationship, but I had had tonnes of 'friends with benefit' and mostly when I'm upset or nervous, I sleep with boys. So my new boyfriend was quite a challenge for me and he knew this, he'd take me into his arms and cuddle me like no man had ever done and make me only think abut those passionate and intense moments over and over again. Yes, I was content to wait till I got married to him.As I made way towards my apartment while fumbling with the keys, a strong hand gripped me from the back and shoved me against the door, I let out a little shriek, because that was all my mouth could produce at that moment. He was hooded and was wearing a dark suit that seemed to make him look theatrical. He pushed me on the couch and even though I was in trouble, I siezed the moment to take the table knife that was lying carelessly on the couch. He stripped my clothes off in an instant and all I could remember was that I was lying face down in front of my couch, he removed my panties and tore at the brand new bra that my boyfriend had given me then he descended on me, I could have screamed at that instant, but the warmth of him inside me felt good and somehow familiar, I just allowed him to continue and moaning with pleasure at each thrust, then all of a sudden, it got roue a medical doctor to note that he wasnt going to make it, if he didnt see a doctor soon. He was loosing blood, but that was the least of my worries, all I could mutter at the shock of seeing him was 'baby, why?' he was never the talking much guy, he just always had an angry face that said it all.'if you'd asked to have sex, it would take anything from me baby.'He looked at me with disgust and with all the pain in his eye, he let out a laugh, a laugh that sounded as though he was being strangled.'you think this is about sex? Well everything is about sex with you filthy whore'. He said with more disgust showing in his voice.'Why are you being so mean to me?''Do I need to have a reason? You dont deserve to live, you're a curse''And what do you mean by that?''Since I met you, my life, my business has turned upside down, so I figured that If you die, things will get back into shape with me'.'So you want to kill me.' Fear gripped my heart once again as I stared at him, Ie a medical doctor to note that he wasnt going to make it, if he didnt see a doctor soon. He was loosing blood, but that was the least of my worries, all I could mutter at the shock of seeing him was 'baby, why?' he was never the talking much guy, he just always had an angry face that said it all.'if you'd asked to have sex, it would take anything from me baby.'He looked at me with disgust and with all the pain in his eye, he let out a laugh, a laugh that sounded as though he was being strangled.'you think this is about sex? Well everything is about sex with you filthy whore'. He said with more disgust showing in his voice.'Why are you being so mean to me?''Do I need to have a reason? You dont deserve to live, you're a curse''And what do you mean by that?''Since I met you, my life, my business has turned upside down, so I figured that If you die, things will get back into shape with me'.'So you want to kill me.' Fear gripped my heart once again as I stared at him, I'd felt alittle bit secured when I had seen him but now things were different.As I was thinking about the next thing to say to him, he brought out a gun. The gun was loaded obviously, he clicked and turned the gun expertly and made me face him. He removed a silencer out of the pocket of his suit that was lying beside the bed. He fixed it to the gun. My head pounded more at the sudden realization that this was the end, a very stupid death, I'm going to die for no reason at all. As I was still lost in my thoughts, pain sliced through my legs. He'd shot me on my right tie, I reeled in pain as blood covered my bed spread.'I'm going to kill you as slowly as I can, so that I can enjoy you.' My heart raced at the thought of where he was going to shoot next. Then I begged, one last time for my life.'baby, i swear that I'd leave you, please dont kill me, I'll disappear totally from your life''And how would I enjoy myself? I need to kill some whore every now and then, so that I could feel good'Then I cosed my eyes bracing up for the next shot but it never came as I had expected.'Didnt I teach you to pray? Ask for the forgiveness of your sins, so that your soul maybe recieved above'I tried to remember how he'd taught me how to pray, it had been awfully romantic because we had our first kiss and he had been so shy afterwards like a seventh grader. As I was trying to remember, the shots that were fired were at least six. The homicidal detective that found my body had said that the pattern was definitely professional. By all means, I was murdered by a professional serial killer, that should count for something in the after life. My serial killer boyfriend also died, he couldnt make it far because he lost so much blood. He was found on my doorway fully dressed. At the morgue where my body was, i saw the gun pattern on my body, it was definitely a cross made with six bullet from my chest down to my abdomen.

Untitled

Hello guys, thanks for keeping a date with us on A Poet’s Diary for yet another glorious week, I sincerely hope that our edition this week will be even better with the new story that we’ve got here. A lot of folks have either emailed me or commented about the characters in my stories, sometimes they’d identify certain individuals that are similar to real life individuals, as much as I wish that these persons were real, they are not real, and they are all just characters that were built for your reading pleasure. Thanks for all the emails and comments that I received via Facebook, twitter and BBM, they were absolutely fantastic, I have also noticed that majority of our readers are facing certain difficulties posting their comments. We’re very sorry about this development and are working speedily to rectify it. Now back to the story of the week…. I had just walked a few blocks from the house when I realized that I had completely forgotten to my phone. So I decided to run back to the house for it. As I got back to the house I realized that I had picked the phone initially but had dumped it inside my backpack. I cursed silently about my stupidity as I began my walk back to the road. It was 7:45am and I was absolutely sure that I was late for work, but I didn’t panic, neither did I increase my pace as I was walking to work. Work had begun to irritate me, I had become increasingly detached from my duties at work since I resumed from my thirty days leave of absence which took me to several interesting cities especially in the oil rich South-Southern part of Nigeria. I whistled for an okada, (a means of transportation on motorcycle, common in Nigeria) based on the fact that I was already late for work, it made a lot of sense if I tried to beat all the rush hour traffic that might be ahead by boarding an okada. The okada man ended up offending me because he seemed to have considered how neatly and sharply dressed I was, before calling his price. The idiot did not consider the distance or how long it would take to get to our destination before he opened the large hole that was attached to his face and say N500. I simply wished him a nice day without any argument and went on my way. The day had not kicked off the way I had expected at all, earlier an argument had ensued in the house between me and my mother about what I was wearing. I had combined a nice TM Lewin black shirt with my dark blue Paul Smith suit without a tie, but my mother insisted that I changed the attire all together because in her opinion, everything seemed like black and I could not convince her otherwise, even though I did not eventually answer her, but too many arguments before 8:00am could spell doom for the whole day, at least that is what the superstitious old lady that lives behind my house had said. “Today has to be perfect” I muttered to myself and after hearing my own voice say it, I began to wonder why it was important for the day to be perfect, then I realized that my mind was just acting the scripts of the book that I had read the previous night. “These self-help books won’t be the end of me, I hope”. But somehow I couldn’t shake the feeling that something big was coming up even though I had no clue about what it was. Another okada zoomed past me despite my best efforts to stop him; I began to scan the area for a vantage position from where I could stand and wave down any available okada. I found one under a tree after a very short scan and I started moving towards it, but before I got there, a van stopped beside me and my neighbor from next door parked in front of me and motioned for me to enter. “This must be my lucky day” I muttered with a smile. “Good morning bro” “Good morning Tolu….looks like you were stranded out there” Bayo said as he brought the vehicle back to life. “Stranded would not do justice to how I’m feeling jare. I wish I could just stab the office (Yoruba metaphor) today.” I said with a grin. “Hahahaha…..” laughed Bayo. “I don’t envy you government workers jare, heard that the new governor is giving you guys a tough time where punctuality is concerned” “Yea, he is, but I couldn’t care less anyway, the idiot lives just a couple of minutes from the office and he seems to believe that every government worker should emulate his punctuality. Our house is like thirty minutes’ drive to or from the office, assuming there’s no traffic and I am certain that there are some people that live even farther than me, are we supposed to emulate his idiocy?” Bayo was silent for some strange reasons that I couldn’t fathom, it was as if I had hit some points that was too close to home for him, and so I pressed even further. “The guy goes to the gate and stands there with his idiotic looking cap and starts taking late comers and by 8:00am gives a directive to the security guards to lock the gates. Who does that?” “A governor that wants to ensure discipline from his workers, that is not wrong?” I didn’t know who spoke, neither did I know from where the voice came from, I just assumed that it must have been Bayo. “No…no…no Bayo, you’re getting this all wrong. This is not a question of discipline, but that a governor of a state that is idle, he seems not have anything better to do with his time.” “I remember when you were looking for this job; you didn’t have a problem with lateness or an idle governor” I could hear the voice clearly now, it wasn’t Bayo that was speaking, it was his mom. And she probably was the most annoying human being in the world, at least the world that I belonged to, where all characters and scripts were written by me. The best thing that I could do at that moment was to keep my mouth shut. But she surprised me; she didn’t press the issue any further as we got nearer to the state secretariat where I was supposed to get down. So I apologized for not greeting her earlier and got out of the vehicle as I made my way to the unclosed gate much to the surprise of Bayo’s mother. Apparently she was expecting to see a manifestation of the picture that I had painted earlier about our dutiful governor. I made a mental note to explain the reason why Mister Governor wasn’t at his unconstitutional duty post. Mrs. Adeboye is a retired civil servant and she retired as a Permanent Secretary (the irony of that position is so baffling when they become retired) and I had gotten the job based on her recommendations, so to some extent, I think I owe her. I walked slowly to the block where my office was situated; I was relieved to see that my immediate superiors were not yet at the office because their allotted parking lots were still vacant. I got to my sit only to realize that today was the weekly sanitation exercise which explains why my superiors were not yet on their sit. I removed my blazers and hung it on the nail directly behind my desk, and scanned my table for leftover work from the previous work day, there were several, so I settled down and began work at once, I didn’t even notice the fact that my clerical officer and messengers were absent, I just dug into the work that was before me, because I had certain deadlines to meet, even though I was already behind on some of them. It didn’t take long before I became neck deep in what I was doing I began to ignore the obvious that were surrounding me, especially the fact that it was almost 9am and nobody else was in the office with me. The euphoria of the victory of the super eagles of Nigeria at the nations’ cup was still very much evident as certain people that were passing through, were talking about it. Despite the fact that I loved the beautiful game of football, I had decided to spare myself the heart ache of watching Nigeria lose. But things had turned out differently as the Sunday Mba strike made all the difference against a very resilient Burkina-Faso team. I had followed the game via the internet and celebrated as much as most people. The door to my office was swung open by an unseen hand, and it creaked, then it noisily cried like a new born child and a powerful scent clouded the environment, it almost knocked me off my seat. Then two well-dressed men in black suits appeared by either sides of the doorway and stayed there. I stopped what I was doing to get a better view of the two men, they didn’t look like people I knew, and why were they standing with so much intent and precision by my door, my mind quickly raced through the events of the past few days, i couldn’t find any criminal act worth two secret service seeming guys standing at my door post, I rose to my feet and walked towards the door. “Sir, can I help you?” I asked calmly facing one of the two men from the door way in my office, he simply looked on, and stared past me, he didn’t even move a muscle neither did he look like he was going to give me the answer that I was seeking. The scent that had shadowed the environment earlier was getting thicker as I stood by the door, slowly I saw where the scent was coming from, it was the Executive Governor himself that was conducting an inspection of all governmental offices and he was flanked by the Head of Service and my own direct boss, the Permanent Secretary of my ministry and one other individual that I couldn’t recognize. Every officer in the ministry had been served a notice for over two weeks about this inspection exercise, we were all supposed to be on the arcade ground waiting for His Excellency to finish his tour and address us, but I had totally forgotten, I tried to make a dash for it, but was immediately stopped by the two guys by my door who lifted me back to my seat quite effortlessly. It became clear who the guys were, they were either with the secret service or they were protocol officers of the governor and they were standing by my door to tell the governor not to enter. The man with the weird looking long cap finally got closer to my office and my heart beat quickened, until today, I had never seen him closely before, but here he was almost at my door and probably going to scold me and order the Head of Service to direct my Permanent Secretary to issue me a query. My mind wandered here and there, I wondered if the guy knows that I have rather strong opinions about him. “Why are you in the office?” said a voice from nowhere. I started stuttering…I could easily guess who the voice belonged to; I had heard him speak on radio and I couldn’t believe that the man with the funny cap was actually talking to me. “I came in to finish up some of the things on my desk”. The Head of Service winked at me, as though she was trying to pass a message across to me, the message if I wasn’t mistaken was to shut my mouth and not say another word. I stood up from my seat rather slowly and faced the set of eyes that were staring down at me. “He seems rather young for this position of his, isn’t he?” The governor asked the Head of Service who seemed more preoccupied with shutting me up than answering the governor. “He’s an Administrative Officer; it is always preferable to hire people that are quite young” “Is that right?” said the Governor with a sly smile.” So, young officer, how old are you?” It was a question that seemed easy enough but it didn’t feel right for me to answer, maybe because of the signals that I received from the HOS earlier. “I’m 24 years old sir” To be CONTINUED

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My eyes were still heavy when I walked into my office; my desk was as bald as I had left it. I heaved a sigh of relief upon the sight as I walked slowly to my desk, it means those miraculous mails had not found their ways to my desk yet. I was in no mood to treat any mail sef. I put my head on top of my desk and managed a few words of prayer, nothing better than fulfilling my early morning ritual, sometimes I even wonder why I do it; it has just become a part of my routine to say those few words of prayer and often I wonder if God listens to me anymore, or if He has ever listened. I rang the bell for my secretary. She hurriedly came into my office with her over painted face and a tightly fitted shirt that exposed a generous part of her cleavage leaving nothing to the imagination, her skirts were also tightly fitted and well above her knees revealing a very well rounded butt. Normally, I would have reprimanded her for dressing like that, but today I was in no mood to even raise an eye. “I need a cup of coffee, make it black please and don’t add any cream.” “Yes sir” she replied and hurriedly left the room, her cleavage bouncing as she did so, bringing a smirk to my face. The dark mood that had shadowed me earlier was slowly lifting like a clearing morning fog. Funny thing is that looking at my secretary always lifted my spirit; maybe it was because of the immoral thoughts that always accompanied those lustful looks. The strange thing however, is the fact that I knew for a fact that she doesn’t like me at all, and we both enjoy playing the cat and mouse game but she always made sure that she satisfied me with whatever I required of her.

As though she was some sort of coffee making machine, she entered my office again with a tray filled with a cup, a saucer and a jug that had steam oozing out of its mouth. Bola bent slightly in front of my desk as she set out jug and the cup in the right order, trying as much as ever to earn my praise. My eyes could not help it but there were two bulging and generously sassy looking towers that seemed to me like two prisoners that were trying to escape the restrictions that were imposed by the camisole that Bola was wearing, I swallowed hard as I kept staring, I could not keep my eyes away, it was as though I was been hypnotized. Bola moved swiftly as she tried to set the cups either out of duty or because the show she was giving me was intentional or because she needed to get it done and leave my office. For some reasons my body was getting stiff with sexual thoughts pounding all over my senses. I tried to shake it off but I couldn’t, as though she could read my mind and see the battles that I was fighting with my fatigued self, she stared deep into my eyes, I cannot remember the last time she had given me that kind of look, it was piercing, it was as if she was calling for me to grab her. I shook my head voraciously and momentarily snapped out of my reverie. Bola was almost done serving the coffee and was asking if I wanted sugar, instinctively I wanted to scream at her and beg her to stop messing with my head but instead I calmly arose from behind my desk and walked to the door and locked it. Then, I walked to where Bola stood pouring the coffee, and then as though I was under some sort of spell, I grabbed her waist, I couldn’t have guessed what came over me, but I knew that I was heading towards the path of destruction slowly. I had expected her to jerk my hands away and insult me and I would have had to fire her and brace up for the lawsuit that would follow, but she did no such thing instead, she looked at me in a teasing manner and said, “I thought you were made of steel”. With that statement, I couldn’t contain my hunger for her any longer; I pulled her close and ravaged her mouth hungrily. Her response was a marvel to me, because she kissed me back with the same kind of ferocity that I had kissed her. My earlier drowsiness had simply vanished and had been replaced with this ravenous hunger. I was having her, but I wanted more. I could not control myself any longer, all I knew was that I wanted more and my hands were acting in their own accord, before I knew it, I had ripped open her tightly fitted shirt and I started feasting on one of her luscious and delicious looking mounds after freeing it from the camisole. They were just as big as I had imagined them to be, I was panting furiously as my heart started pounding heavily, Bola was moaning at the top of her voice, the intensity of her moans scared me a little because I felt that anybody could walk in on us at that moment, but I brushed the thoughts aside and continued what I was doing, I wasn’t ready for what happened next. Bola grabbed my belt and started unbuckling it, I was hard and ready to take her, but my mind wasn’t prepared for it, I was not sure that I was ready to hit this depth, this has got to be an “all time” low, even for me. “What are you doing Bola?” I asked still in my shocked state. “Isn’t it obvious?” she asked, "I want you to finish what you we have started". Started? I was puzzled; she came on to me didn’t she? Truth be told, my head was in a conflict with my body. I don’t know what to do.

WHART A BOSS

My eyes glared, no human has ever used such words on me, not even my father, this is supposed to be a workplace not a house, how dare she call me stupid? And for what reason if I may ask? The way I was dressed? Who does that? I had to step back for a little while and assess myself. I wasn’t that bad, while it was very true that I wasn’t dressed appropriately for the office, the truth remained that I wasn’t dressed so badly either. Here I was in her office, obviously accepting that I was guilty and ready to do anything to remedy the guilt. “You’re nauseating me, in fact get out of my office” she shouted again. I simply smirked and headed for the door but not without apologizing one more time. I felt like saying something else to her actually, but I held myself back, it would have felt good if I had fired her a warning not to insult me or call me stupid again, after all, this is an office environment but the Christianity in me wouldn’t allow me so, instead it was an apology that emanated from my mouth. As though my apology infuriated her the more, “in fact you need to go home now, and don’t return to this office until you are properly dressed”. It shouldn’t have shocked me, but it did. I had to walk out of the office without her permission, to recover from what I had just heard. I began calculating, I played a scenario in my head where I replied without leaving her office, “so you are giving me the day off?” Her reply would have been catastrophic. I summoned up my courage and made my entrance back to her office, it was as though she was expecting me…she stood up from behind the large table that was her desk in all her fullness, at that moment, I was blinded with mischief, all I could see was a ball like creature that could only be likened to a huge fat frog that was about to explode based on the way that her eye balls were bulging with fury. “What are you still doing here? You’re an irresponsible twat!” “err…….em I came to explain some things to you ma’am” “I am in no mood to listen to anything that concerns you or comes out of that filthy mouth of yours”. At that moment, my mind derailed from my looming doom and I wondered how it was that she knew that my mouth was filthy but I quickly brushed the thought aside. “I can’t go home ma’” I managed to say and I swallowed slowly bracing myself for whatever she was going to throw at me next. She was however surprisingly silent as though she was pondering a perfect and the most toxic reply for me. “All my good clothes are at the laundry, the dry cleaner is not through with them yet” “See this mad boy ooooo!” She screamed and laughed sarcastically.” So what you’re trying to tell me is that you don’t do your own laundry?” The anger that arose within me choked whatever word that I was going to say out of me. But I still managed to mutter a “Yes” not to seem too rude if I didn’t reply. “I always knew that your problem was laziness, you are just way too lazy, so at your age, you employ a dry cleaner to do your laundry?” she asked sarcastically with her arms akimbo while her upper body was thrown forward simultaneously revealing two hugely disgusting lumps that were supposed to serve as her breast. My mind wandered yet again to what my colleague from another agency had told me about the hostility that is often exhibited by female bosses that it could be attributed to sexual frustrations at home and I couldn’t help but wonder about the kind of man that had married this fat frog and how unfortunate he was. “Are you dumb, or can’t you answer simple questions again?” “Yes ma’am” I answered, trying to sound as respectful as I can. “I get too busy during the weekend with church activities and all” “You must be crazy for bringing the church of God into this” she blurted out without blinking. “Sorry?” I asked, just trying to convince myself that she didn’t just call me crazy. “it is people like you that always give men of God a bad name” she continued without replying my earlier query. “Madam, I have done no such thing, I have not even mentioned the name of anybody in all this. I would not blame anybody for my woes.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “Yes, indeed you have not, but you will eventually” I looked at her as though she had vaporized from the spot, she had started to irritate me, I felt that I couldn’t take it anymore. “Go and give me the phone number of your Pastor” I stared at her blankly, wanting to believe that my ears were deceiving me. Didn’t know when I blurted out “why?” “You need an alibi for your cock and bull and your pastor will provide it” “I didn’t know that I was being tried in a law court? Why do I need to provide an alibi?” “Are you crazy? How dare you question me?” she asked fuming yet again. “No ma, I am not crazy” I retorted putting my head down in the process. “Now I know for certain that you’re crazy” she said while waving her hands at me as though she was going to slap me. At that moment I paused to think for a second, a slap from those beefy hand of hers would leave an indelible mark on my face for a fairly long time, but then again if she does it, she might get the query, but even though the possibility of her getting a query seemed sumptuous, it was not worth inciting her and getting a dirty slap that might disfigure my face. “Madam, I do not believe that it is professional for you to use such words in an office environment to me, being that you’re a senior colleague and just a few years ahead of me.” “O MY GOD!!!”she exclaimed at the top of her voice, her face was a shade of red, she was breathing heavily as though she was about to explode, common sense told me to leave that office there and then but my legs were refusing to see the sense in what it was saying as it stayed glued to the spot. “I do have a right to report you on the grounds that you have been abusing me with vulgar words all through today. Hence we’re both guilty here, myself for my irresponsible way of dressing and you madam, for your irresponsible tongue” It was certain, I had crossed the line, and my bad mouth has landed me into another ditch. But for some strange reasons, she didn’t say anything else, she just stared at me, it was as though blood had drained from her face. The color of her face was all the encouragement that I needed as I bolted out of the door.

His Story

hey friends, happy new year, been suffering from writer's bloc for a while now, hope you can forgive me for starving you all this while. well I got a new one for you.......sit back and enjoy the ride with me,,, Adanna’s radiant face was glowing, yes, those funny feelings of yesteryears has found its way to my head yet again. For the first time since I started this race, it is now dawning on me that I may actually end up a victor at the end of it all. I remember her only slightly well now, we were a match made from heaven. She was the only individual weirder than me in all of the camp. We became friends not because she wanted to become my friend but because I wanted to understand her. She was so infamous for her impulsiveness that it drove everybody away from her and it attracted random wolves like me. Nobody understood her, she wanted to do it all, enjoy it all, the whole nine yards of the camping experience. We were at different sides of the coin in this though, I had no desire whatsoever to enjoy anything that the camp had to offer, I just wanted to do my time and get off the island. But Adanna fascinated me, I was driven by a deep desire to know her and understand her, but she could not even care less who I was or even if I existed. Physically I was not attracted to her, if I was it would have made the job easier but I wasn’t. Then came the posting out of the camp, and lo and behold we were posted to the same area and hence our romance began. Our affair was fueled by the extreme similarities between us two, despite the fact that occasionally or shall I put, more often than not, I was always at the center of the critics especially when the issue involved her. Adanna was the person I wanted to become, she was a goal getter, she never saw obstacles, all she ever sees are possibilities and I was her exact opposite. The first time we said anything to each other, we were at different sides of a particular coin on a particular issue in a routine CDS meeting once, and after listening to me go on and on about the impossibility of a particular situation, she calmly stood up and gave several solutions to the seemingly impossible tasks ahead. I was angry, she just took my ego wrapped it into a ball and kicked it into a waste basket. I swallowed my pride, held my head high and didn’t say a word till the meeting was over. As I was walking towards the exit of the place where the meeting took place, somebody tapped me from behind, I looked back and lo and behold, it was Adanna smiling sweetly at me. “hey, handsome” she said sweetly as she approached me. I was stunned at that compliment for two reasons, number one was the fact that as far as I was concerned I was nowhere near handsome as a guy and the second reason was the fact that I thought she didn’t like me. “Why do you look so startled? Like you just saw a ghost…” she smiled and gave me a little jab on my shoulder. “Somebody has been making some assumptions about me in his mind” “And why would you assume that?” I managed to ask after finally overcoming my initial shock. “It’s written all over you face, I can assume that I tripped your ego during the meeting” “You may not learn this anywhere else” I said calmly, trying to take control of the conversation. “ It’s been said in some quarters that assumptions are the ………….” “Lowest form of knowledge” Adanna interrupted swiftly, the smile on her face had not vanished but she sounded rather irritated. “I know, it was a statement credited to Dr. Ed Cole.” “Someone is brushing up on their history” I said with a grin. “Apparently you didn’t read the article” she said calmly “that statement has nothing to do with history” My eyes glared with anger, here she was again, giving me a lecture, what was her problem, and can’t she just shut her mouth? What was she doing talking to me sef? As though she could read my mind…she said “I’m doing it again, right?” I was dumbfounded, awestruck, I could not answer her, and to add insult to injury, my voice failed me. ‘ “I’m a talkative and I can by very insulting at times. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I just came to apologize.” More than ever, I was humbled, or shall I say that I was impressed? How is it possible that she found it necessary to apologize? I would never have done that, I told myself. “I’m sorry too; I allowed my ego to get the better of me. So so sorry” she just brushed my apology aside as though it meant nothing. “You don’t have to apologize, I intruded on your zone and tried to make it mine, please don’t mind me” she said rubbing my back in a rather friendly manner. I was expecting her touch to be gentle but I was met with a disappointment, she was as a rough as a guy would be. Then without saying another word, she just left, leaving my mind to trail what could have been in her mind.