An Illusion

Strength they say lies in character,
I'm a dreamer,
I've been to places where people only dare to dream,
I've spinned around the world like a ball on the field of play,
But never have I seen such a strong character in display.

Some people were indeed born great,
Because the greatness that I witnessed from this individual could only make me marvel.

I just met her,
She's not just anybody to me,
I've not seen her,
But she's the most beautiful person I've known.

Emotions running deep,
Tear droplets on my pillow as I lay my bed to sleep,
Words lost with the sound of the day,
Every moment feels to me like You're here to stay.
I hope this aint an illusion.

Her Story (uncensored)

'They've lied to us all, death isn't the way we'd all thought it will be' I died, dont pity me, I had a good life, I got the best of everything. My parents were always there, from elementary school through college. I had no deformity, I was cute, guys wane over me, I had two boyfriends, I slept with only one of them, the other was too religious, he would dare touch me until we were married. Well, that never happened, but I lived life to the fullest. I had the craziest adventures in life, I remember one time when I visited Nigeria with my dad, the country of his birth, I saw the religious description of hell with my two bare eyes when I got myself and two others kidnapped by some hungry militants, aparently I was worth something to them as a half breed as they refered me as. My dad paid the ransom and I was released but the horror of having to see so many guns and charms never left me in my lifetime. I had long summer trips to exotic locations with my boyfriends and friends, wore the the best of everything, from gucci to louis vutton to ralph lauren to prada. Anything that my dad's credit card could afford, afterall he's a music producer and he's also a highly successful one too. That was how he hooked up with my mum. She's also a musician, kind of a washed up, old school rock star.So as I said earlier, dont pity me, I've had enough of the pity party at my funeral. Boy! Wasn't my funeral solemn? The scary looking priest reading something from that book that everyone calls the bible and almost fifty people crowded around my grave as though, I had called a show. I couldnt even recognise the faces of all or most of the individuals that I saw at my funeral, I wish they'd let me handle the invites, I'll bet there'll only be a handful of people here instead of fifty, even Jesus, didnt get this much crowd at his funeral.In case you're reading this, you're also probably dead or do you think you could read something written by the dead? Well, you're quite mistaken if you thought so.I was coming back from my boyfriend's apartment on that cold and fateful night of December sixteenth, all I could think about was how happy I'd be with him, once we were married, I'd only been in one relationship before I met him and boy, that relationship was wild, he always blew me off, we'd run off to paris on weekends, take a both cruise to the bahamas, have public fights and the make up sex was always great but I needed more and my new boyfriend offered me that. He'd teach me in the way of God and also take me out to dinners and seminars where I learnt a whole lot about men like him. I didnt exactly enjoy the fact that he never touches me because the truth is that though I'd only been in one relationship, but I had had tonnes of 'friends with benefit' and mostly when I'm upset or nervous, I sleep with boys. So my new boyfriend was quite a challenge for me and he knew this, he'd take me into his arms and cuddle me like no man had ever done and make me only think abut those passionate and intense moments over and over again. Yes, I was content to wait till I got married to him.As I made way towards my apartment while fumbling with the keys, a strong hand gripped me from the back and shoved me against the door, I let out a little shriek, because that was all my mouth could produce at that moment. He was hooded and was wearing a dark suit that seemed to make him look theatrical. He pushed me on the couch and even though I was in trouble, I siezed the moment to take the table knife that was lying carelessly on the couch. He stripped my clothes off in an instant and all I could remember was that I was lying face down in front of my couch, he removed my panties and tore at the brand new bra that my boyfriend had given me then he descended on me, I could have screamed at that instant, but the warmth of him inside me felt good and somehow familiar, I just allowed him to continue and moaning with pleasure at each thrust, then all of a sudden, it got roue a medical doctor to note that he wasnt going to make it, if he didnt see a doctor soon. He was loosing blood, but that was the least of my worries, all I could mutter at the shock of seeing him was 'baby, why?' he was never the talking much guy, he just always had an angry face that said it all.'if you'd asked to have sex, it would take anything from me baby.'He looked at me with disgust and with all the pain in his eye, he let out a laugh, a laugh that sounded as though he was being strangled.'you think this is about sex? Well everything is about sex with you filthy whore'. He said with more disgust showing in his voice.'Why are you being so mean to me?''Do I need to have a reason? You dont deserve to live, you're a curse''And what do you mean by that?''Since I met you, my life, my business has turned upside down, so I figured that If you die, things will get back into shape with me'.'So you want to kill me.' Fear gripped my heart once again as I stared at him, Ie a medical doctor to note that he wasnt going to make it, if he didnt see a doctor soon. He was loosing blood, but that was the least of my worries, all I could mutter at the shock of seeing him was 'baby, why?' he was never the talking much guy, he just always had an angry face that said it all.'if you'd asked to have sex, it would take anything from me baby.'He looked at me with disgust and with all the pain in his eye, he let out a laugh, a laugh that sounded as though he was being strangled.'you think this is about sex? Well everything is about sex with you filthy whore'. He said with more disgust showing in his voice.'Why are you being so mean to me?''Do I need to have a reason? You dont deserve to live, you're a curse''And what do you mean by that?''Since I met you, my life, my business has turned upside down, so I figured that If you die, things will get back into shape with me'.'So you want to kill me.' Fear gripped my heart once again as I stared at him, I'd felt alittle bit secured when I had seen him but now things were different.As I was thinking about the next thing to say to him, he brought out a gun. The gun was loaded obviously, he clicked and turned the gun expertly and made me face him. He removed a silencer out of the pocket of his suit that was lying beside the bed. He fixed it to the gun. My head pounded more at the sudden realization that this was the end, a very stupid death, I'm going to die for no reason at all. As I was still lost in my thoughts, pain sliced through my legs. He'd shot me on my right tie, I reeled in pain as blood covered my bed spread.'I'm going to kill you as slowly as I can, so that I can enjoy you.' My heart raced at the thought of where he was going to shoot next. Then I begged, one last time for my life.'baby, i swear that I'd leave you, please dont kill me, I'll disappear totally from your life''And how would I enjoy myself? I need to kill some whore every now and then, so that I could feel good'Then I cosed my eyes bracing up for the next shot but it never came as I had expected.'Didnt I teach you to pray? Ask for the forgiveness of your sins, so that your soul maybe recieved above'I tried to remember how he'd taught me how to pray, it had been awfully romantic because we had our first kiss and he had been so shy afterwards like a seventh grader. As I was trying to remember, the shots that were fired were at least six. The homicidal detective that found my body had said that the pattern was definitely professional. By all means, I was murdered by a professional serial killer, that should count for something in the after life. My serial killer boyfriend also died, he couldnt make it far because he lost so much blood. He was found on my doorway fully dressed. At the morgue where my body was, i saw the gun pattern on my body, it was definitely a cross made with six bullet from my chest down to my abdomen.

Painful Rythm

He's an old man,
Held high among his clan,
Lived his life on the high,
Even though his defect is in the eye,
His mind is twisted as his braids,
Melancholia he is, no one ever comes to his aid.
That's all he wails,
Like mad dogs wagging their tails,
Living everyday as though its the last,
For difficult was his past,
And the future seem to hold nothing,
Not even a pod or a bean.